Conceptions of self

Through the varying existence of changing subatomic particles to the passing array of people down the street, life itself is something beyond the trait of stability and has the condition of change. Through this web of transience can we find something that borders the edge of eternity and has within its essence the unconditioned immortal? Or does this fleeting passage of time and space hold nothing that lasts and only defines a self through impermanence- a mere illusion.  This grand question is one I work my way towards answering as I satisfy my curiosity through the mysteries of life into the revelation of existence.

Only one thing is certain for me now, that whatever the answer to the existence of the self or soul is, the labels we attribute to it only separate us from what is truly there. So when we say I am Christian, I am Muslim, I am Buddhist, I am Hindu, I am atheist, I am nobody, I am famous, I am better, I am worse, we miss the point of what is truly there and the fluency of life and existence passes us by into the changing tides of time.  Labels of the self separate us from the soul and purpose of what really exists in life.

Only as collectives

As you start to grow up you should realize something that I think is important to truly being human but is radically undermined in our infantile society. This is important because it is the backbone of your existence and is none other than the people and places that you depend on. I am starting to realize how insignificant individuals are in the execution of anything, because when it comes down to it you and your wellbeing is not separate from the work of others. Everything we take for granted has come most exclusively from the labor of someone else or the existence of something else. It even goes skin deep to the fact that our body was the product of someone else as we grew in our mother’s fetus finally finding the illusion of separation. Here is the key though, which I think is the grand delusion of all corruptions our society faces, we actually have begun to think we are separate from others. We actually think in the back of our mind that we are the ones who are earning our own money and thus deserve all of its benefits, or we are the ones who made this discovery or created this product. This is a total illusion and creates the most diabolical demon ever to fall upon our planet, and that is the ego of humankind.

I now endorse that separation is only geometrical and that our existence as a collective does not just extend to our species as humans but even more so into the foundations of our planet. You can go live in a cave in the Himalayas away from other people but you will have to find some means of shelter, food, or other services that living plant and animal life will expel to you. We see ourselves as separate from each other and the universe but really our existence to see ourselves in this light is dependent on the existence of the universe, and even the universe is now dependent on our perception of it according to modern physics and ancient mysticism. What this web of dependency leads to is the union of all existence into the grand collective of being…a wicked beauty that is still unfolding before my eyes

Beyond words

Lately I have not been able to retain any theoretical explanation for what we linguistically call life. Every explanation seems to fall at the complexity of consciousness and form in a mind boggling spiral down the quantum wormhole of transience. Where in this seemingly limitless phenomenon of existence do we find limit and meaning? It certainly can't come from words or thought. Before the thought or the word catches the moment it has passed and transformed into something new. It seems to be that complete empiricism only exists within a logical framework that is separate from reality itself, as reality bends to the perception of the observer in only a slightly defined way. Words and thought seemingly become but poems and distraction to the escapade of existence as it unfolds in a plethora of seasons and colors treasured only to those who see past distortions. Is there truly any other purpose besides marveling at this paradox of human reason? It seems knowing this starts the beginning of a whole new life..which before only stood on the shores of a mystery..exotic and sublime but beyond prior intentions..

Behind The Mirror

Life is something that many people live but very few question and understand. It is very easy to see why this is so once sucked into the hum-bug of the industrial rush hour with the caffeinated crowd driving in the packed rivers of tar and cement in large masses of 4,000 pounds worth of steel going 80 miles down the highway.  Then even when the commute is stopped they rush about their jobs and work like ants in the hierarchy of the business world. When they come home they are too tired to reflect so they sit in front of a TV or computer screen and are succumbed to mindless media or games or the heavy toxins of alcohol and drunkenness. It is a means to escape the grind, this avoidance of the cycle, and a fall back into fantasy and the successes of others. Others who are seen as superior or better in some ignorant way, because they appear before them like gods on a screen of glass. Hollow…empty…and void of life. Those who live like this and think that this is the real world are completely wrong.  Life is something much more extraordinary than what we are conditioned to believe, but unfortunately most people are not given a hand to step outside of the illusion that has been painted over us by our predecessors. What we constantly fear and avoid is the reality that we are much more  powerful than the illusion we created, and that the true meaning of life and happiness is not in some distant star galaxies away, but is held within the palms of our hand, hidden only by the mirage of ignorance. So what will you do with this power? I tell you… take it and make your dreams come true.

In Natures Beauty

There is something fantastical about the natural world. Anyone who has captured the present moment long enough to muse at the beauty of nature has inevitably felt the peacefulness of its complexity. In fact, the natural world is not only beautiful, but it is also benefits our health.  Many people underestimate the fact that plant life produces the oxygen that enables our breathing. This interconnection between man and plant is the core foundation of our existence. In other words, if nature did not exist, neither would we. The natural world is not only a visual experience but it is a necessary foundation for us to thrive. I take the time to make regular walks through wooded trails to enable the benefits that the visual and respiratory effects of plant life give. Though these two aspects of nature make it enough to spend more time outdoors near plant life, nature can also carry an “otherness” factor that dives into the mystical.

It wonders me when I walk from a paved road into a secluded trail, 10 seconds later my thoughts start to cool down and my stress levels whisper away. I am transported to a whole new walk of life and enter into a whole new realm of experience.  Here the world works on momentary existence. The corporate hive of restlessness is painted with the shades of mother earth. The sounds of cars and industry replaced with the singing of birds and the rustle of walking feet.  It is a whole new world to modern humans, alienated from their own planet, but able to choose to reconnect.

Binaural Meditation

For a beginner, silent sitting meditation might seem a very daunting and hard practice to get accustomed to. In fact, I was turned off by the pure silent meditation methods when I was first exploring what meditation has to offer.  Well, fortunately for me and millions of other people, sound engineers and musicians have been producing something known as binaural tones.  Binaural tones were first discovered by Heinrich Wilhelm Dove in 1839 and started to take off in popularity in the 20^th and 21^st centuries. Now many people use only these binaural tone programs, and they truly do work in their own way. I started using them for relaxation purposes, and from a meditation practitioners perspective that is probably their best purpose.  I must make it clear that a binaural meditation will not replace a silent sitting meditation because it is a synthesized result. Brainwave entrainment will however provide meditation results quicker than a silent sitting meditation. In fact, I used these Brainwave programs as a prelude to my silent sitting meditation work. For me, these binaural tone programs acted as a catalyst to allow me to perform better in silent meditation methods such as Vipassana. There exists many of these programs available online for purchase at sites such as the Trypnaural Brainwave Meditation program purchased here, that allow you to get fast results in meditation today. I honestly do recommend that beginning meditators try these tone meditations, however, I recommend as well that no meditator should rely on these only, for the deepest results are in the silent meditations because you can see your mind how it is in its natural state, and learn how to cleanse it based in insights that arise from primordial awareness.

Vipassana Meditation

Meditation is one of, if not the pivotal force of transforming your life. About a month ago I attended a 10 day Vipassana (I will explain the techniques later) course under the instructor S.N. Goenka and have received real effects. Now Im sad to say I am still very far from enlightenment, but I have gained real insight into certain emotional-reaction patterns that where giving misery to my life and the lives of those around me. I can honestly say that before this 10 day course I was a very jealous person. I got angry when other people got credit for things when I thought I should be appraised instead. I would cringe when I saw other people succeeding thinking I am the one who should be there and not them! I also was depressed and lacked motivation, confidence, and self-esteem and carried a very narcissistic attitude. Well, I learned this technique and luckily my ego started to calm down a bit. I now no longer have those outbursts of jealousy, though my other negative traits were not cured 100%, I can say I have had a noticeable change in my attitude and my view on life. It really did change me as a person at a subtle level. In fact the first day I got out I felt like a completely different person, though I fell into those natural bad habits that we partake such as alcohol and excessive caffeine, which when I look back now, did cut off some of my development, but I carried on with the 2 hour a day Vipassana routine as instructed at the course after I returned to the industrial world.

Now I’m sure some people are going to wonder what meditation is exactly and what Vipassana and anapana are. Well meditation is the act of focusing your concentration on a specific object, sensation, thought, idea, or belief to attain certain transformational effects. There are closed and open eyed forms of meditation, and many sub-techniques within each. Vipassana mediation was said to be rediscovered by Siddhartha Gotama (Buddha) approximately 2500 years ago. The purpose of anapana, the first meditation transmitted to me, is to calm and concentrate the mind. Obviously the outcome of this meditation has its benefits in all walks of life. The purpose of Vipassana, the second technique transmitted to me, is to root out negative mental volitions which manifest themselves within the body, and express themselves through things such as fear, hatred, desperation, ect. These volitions are called sankharas within the theory of Vipassana, but in reality such labels are personally applicable.

The method of anapana that was transmitted to me is accomplished by taking a seat cross legged in a quiet and secure environment where you won’t be disturbed.  Then one must close their eyes and focus on the sensation that the breathe makes on a small triangular area above the upper lip and below the upper nose. Then observe the effect of breathing on this area of sensation, and be determined to concentrate your mind only on this area of sensation. Anyone who attempts this will realize how insane one’s mind is and how hard it actually is to do something as simple as focus on one-point of sensation. Success of anapana is said to grant one the bliss of concentration.

The method of Vipassana is a bit more complicated. Its start is the same process. Finding a quite area and sitting down cross legged. To start off you focus on sensation starting from the tip of your head, and going down rhythmically to the chin, covering all areas of the face, to the back of the head, feeling as much of your head and face as possible. Then doing the same for your arms, from shoulders to fingertips, and then going down the front of your body from the throat to the groin. Then go down from the back of the neck to the bottom of the spine, then from the pelvis down each leg into the toes. After this reverse the process and start from the toes to the top of the head. You keep doing this for about an hour and call it a session. Anyone who tries this will soon see all their mental habits arise as they scan their bodies. They will also come upon lost memories and stored emotions as they surf across the currents of bodily sensation.

I would suggest readers to try these methods of meditation, but I am posting this to simply record my experiments. To me this still stands as one form of meditation, and I plan to try and post other methods as I learn them. If anyone is seriously interested in meditation, I would advise going to speak with a trainer, because the oral tradition of meditative practices is what has made them so successful for the past thousands of years.